GIRLS ARE NEVER SATISFIED.
If you are well dressed,
She thinks you are play boy.
If you are not,
She thinks you are a begger.
If you kiss her,
She thinks you r not a gentleman.
If you don’t,
She thinks you are not a man.
If you praise her,
She thinks you are a lier.
If u don’t she thinks,
You are good for nothing.
If you visit her often,
She thinks u are boring.
If you don’t she accuses,
You for double crossing.
If u visit another girl,
She accuses you for being cheat.
If she is visited by another guy,
She says “oh..! its natural! we are girls..!
If you propose love within a brief time ,
You are a freash guy.
If you propose love later ,
She wonders why
If you are jealous,
She says its bad.
If your not she doubts ,
Your love and is not glad.
If you attempt romance,.
Girls are never satisfied
She thinks you don’t respect her.
If you don’t ,
She thinks you don’t like her.
If you listen ,
She wants to talk .
If you wanna talk ,
She also wants to talk.
Oh women..! you are soo simple,
Yet soo complex….
You r soo weak,
Yet soo powerful…..
Your soo confusing ,
Yet soo desirable…..
PATANS IQ.....
To all of you lets see what you think
A Pathan is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Pathan says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
pathan asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Pathan asks for help from general public
4) Which of these is King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Pathan asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Pathan gives up...
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at our Pathan's replies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he
changed his name
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which
means islands of the
puppies.
Now tell me who's the dumb one....!!!
Don't ever laugh at a Pathan again!!
...
Problems
Once two men sat in a bar drinking. The first one said to the other ,"I have a hell lot of family problems."
The second one said ,"I'll tell you mine. I married a widow having a young daughter. My father married my daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is >my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems !! ".
GREAT 15
1: Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.
2: You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.
3: Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids. 4: Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.
5: Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.
6: I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!
7: A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth? Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH. 8: Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!
9: Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
10: If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment.......log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.
11: Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.
12: I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill.
13: I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again
14: I've written a poem for you: Twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far.
15: A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun?
GIRLFRIEND AND FRIENDSHIP.
Just a friend:
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??”
Rahul: “Where are you going Shilpa??”
Shilpa: “None of your business” and bangs the phone. (Useless fellow. Hmmph!).
Good Friend:
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: “Hi Shilpa”,
Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye”
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: “What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?”.
Rahul: “Generally”.
Shilpa: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye.”
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
Very good friend:
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl. She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: “You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn;t like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl”.
Rahul: “Who is Shekhar??”
Shilpa : “My boyfriend.”
Rahul: Oh! ok.
Best Friend:
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can’t live without you. And don’t be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can do poo-poo. Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul, you pay. I am having fun. Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: “But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that.”
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).
Best of the Bestest Friends:
Ok now you are really special. You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything. Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl. You take her around. You make her project. You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. You can hold hands on the beach. You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along). But but but… don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 time the salary you earn and has a flat in Poes Garden or Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend”.
Rahul: Hi Shekhar. (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul’s wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.
Boyfriend:
Uh… No comments dude. You’re already screwed.
